Florida Man Drifts 90 Miles to Cuba in Porta-Potty, Arrested as a Spy
A Daytona Beach man swept 90 miles across the ocean inside a rogue porta-potty has washed ashore in Cuba, where authorities are bizarrely holding him on suspicion of espionage.
HAVANA — Bradley "Skip" Higgins, 38, of Kissimmee, is currently detained in Cuba after a rogue wave swept him 90 miles across the Florida Straits inside a standard portable toilet.
The bizarre saga began Thursday afternoon when a sudden storm surge struck Daytona Beach. Higgins, who was seeking refuge in a beach-side porta-potty after consuming questionable fish tacos, held on helplessly as a massive wave lifted the plastic outhouse off its concrete pad and launched it straight into the surf.
Trapped inside the windowless box with no steering, Higgins spent 18 hours drifting through international waters. Unbeknownst to him, the aerodynamic plastic unit drifted into the Gulf Stream, briefly registering on radar as an erratic, low-profile maritime anomaly.
According to defense insiders, a Coast Guard drone briefly locked onto the mysterious blue target, preparing to authorize a tactical missile strike before operators noticed it was moving slowly at only two knots and smelling faintly of industrial pine. Command ultimately called off the strike, deciding that using a multimillion-dollar warhead to neutralize an unmotorized outhouse might be a waste of tax payer money.
When the makeshift vessel finally washed ashore in Villa Clara province, local militia surrounded it with weapons drawn, convinced they had intercepted a sophisticated stealth reconnaissance craft. Cuban counterintelligence officers are now struggling to believe Higgins' frantic insistence that he is an HVAC contractor, not a CIA operative. Interrogators remain deeply suspicious of his "tactical sanitation unit" and its robust deodorizing chemicals.
State Department officials are working to secure his release, while back home, a Daytona Beach bar has already immortalized the event by naming a potent rum drink "The Floating Outhouse."
Higgins reportedly remains unharmed, though deeply traumatized by enclosed spaces.
The bizarre saga began Thursday afternoon when a sudden storm surge struck Daytona Beach. Higgins, who was seeking refuge in a beach-side porta-potty after consuming questionable fish tacos, held on helplessly as a massive wave lifted the plastic outhouse off its concrete pad and launched it straight into the surf.
Trapped inside the windowless box with no steering, Higgins spent 18 hours drifting through international waters. Unbeknownst to him, the aerodynamic plastic unit drifted into the Gulf Stream, briefly registering on radar as an erratic, low-profile maritime anomaly.
According to defense insiders, a Coast Guard drone briefly locked onto the mysterious blue target, preparing to authorize a tactical missile strike before operators noticed it was moving slowly at only two knots and smelling faintly of industrial pine. Command ultimately called off the strike, deciding that using a multimillion-dollar warhead to neutralize an unmotorized outhouse might be a waste of tax payer money.
When the makeshift vessel finally washed ashore in Villa Clara province, local militia surrounded it with weapons drawn, convinced they had intercepted a sophisticated stealth reconnaissance craft. Cuban counterintelligence officers are now struggling to believe Higgins' frantic insistence that he is an HVAC contractor, not a CIA operative. Interrogators remain deeply suspicious of his "tactical sanitation unit" and its robust deodorizing chemicals.
State Department officials are working to secure his release, while back home, a Daytona Beach bar has already immortalized the event by naming a potent rum drink "The Floating Outhouse."
Higgins reportedly remains unharmed, though deeply traumatized by enclosed spaces.
